Today is the 18 month anniversary of my husband’s death. In some ways, it has gone very quickly. At other times, the days have literally dragged on and on. I have faced many challenges, others I have run away from. I share with you - not as someone who has all of the answers – but as an ordinary person, just like you, who has decided to take on one challenge at a time and be victorious.
My experience is not unique. I am certainly not the only woman who has ever lost her husband and I won’t be the last. But that is the point, I believe sharing my journey can help those whose challenges like this are yet to come.
About a year ago, through a set of circumstances that I have discussed here , I made a decision to move from the city back to a house that my husband, kids and I lived in for more than a decade. We had put the house on the market before moving to the city, but were never able to sell it as the housing market took its little nosedive downward.
I’ve been back for a year now and am facing some dragons that I’m going to slay!
DRAGON: I have been working on refurbishing my house after being damaged by former tenants. The work has not gone as smoothly as planned (does it ever!) AND has cost far more than was first projected (of course!) AND is not even close to being finished. There are more houses for sale in this area than you can shake a stick at and I’m afraid that even if I sink a lot more money into the house, I won’t be able to sell it when I’m finished.
DRAGON RELATIVES: 1) Slow unreliable internet connection capabilities with no other options available 2) Poor cell phone reception 3) 4 acres to mow 4) preference for city life
Yep, lots of dragons to slay! So I’ve spent some time doing some soul searching. I’ve been reflecting on some advice I was given a few months back – that my life is now a blank sheet of paper, and it is MY choice how I fill that sheet. It turns out that I really wasn’t doing what I wanted to do – I wasn’t filling my own sheet.
ACTION PLAN:
Declutter my home and prepare to move as quickly as I possibly can.
Analyze and determine where I want to live.
Identify and contact companies that purchase “ugly” homes for bids.
PROGRESS:
8 boxes of stuff – gone! Most of the boxes contained items from my late husband. It has been a very emotional week – remembering, grieving, and letting go. I was reminded that I’ll always have the memories, nothing can take those away. I don’t really need all of the stuff. One or two things will be sufficient. Today, as I dropped off a huge load at Goodwill, there was an immense feeling of peace and a sense of a burden being lifted from my shoulders.
Some potential cities have been identified. I’m compiling a list of things I am looking for and will move forward on making a decision on that soon.
I have contacted someone knowledgeable about the whole “ugly”’ home business. I have obtained an estimate of what price I should be able to get for my home. Next step is to identify companies that will purchase homes in my area.
Not all of my dragons are listed here. There’s no need to bore you with all of the gory details. But I’m applying similar strategies for all of those dragons and you know what? They no longer seem so big and huge.
I wanted to leave you with one last thought – something that I have been reminded of throughout this process and that is . . . that life is sometimes hard, sometimes it isn’t fair, but in our darkest hour, there is always hope.
Deborah (Debbie) Stevens is an MBA, CPA, Money Maven who offers down to earth accounting, tax and consulting services, is a health and fitness coach, and jewelry designer and re-engineerer. With more than 10 years in public accounting and 6 years in private industry, her boundless energy and talents are now focused on making small businesses successful by analyzing the problems, discussing the issues, and crafting the appropriate solutions. Her strong, personal integrity, hard work, sheer determination coupled with a deep fun-loving view of life are what makes her tick. After having lost 116 lbs in 15 months, she has recently added weight loss and fitness coaching into the business mix. She is passionate about everything she does with a deep desire to help people. She is personable, down to earth, and ready to roll up her sleeves and get started on your business solutions. 
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I know what you mean about slaying dragons. And I’m glad you’ve got a plan to move forward. Just one step at a time.
Hi Debbie,
Thanks for your encouragement. I would love to hear about those big dragons you have slayed.
Congratulations Debbie on making those tough choices and slaying the dragons — so true, sometimes it just takes identifying and shedding light on them, and then facing them down for them to disappear!
Thanks for your boldness and for sharing your truth — keep rockin!
Hi Satya,
Your support, my friend, is much appreciated. Thank you.
Your dragons are slayable… Remember, the intensity of hardships we face are a reflection of the massive growth and fulfillment we have just around the corner…
Your persistence and passion will bring you that fulfillment!
Hi Paul,
I know you have had experience in dragon slaying as well – so I can appreciate your comments here. I’m holding on to the massive growth and fulfillment coming around the corner. Thanks.
Those dragons, when slayed are going to make you strong. Holy smokes, that is awesome. I am inspired by your challenges. Is it possible to make your four acres of grass into a soccer field and have a league pay you to play there?
Hi Pat,
I wish I could make that four acres into a soccer field, but it’s too hilly with trees and a big pond at the bottom of the hill. Maybe goats to eat the grass? LOL
Debbie ~ Blessings and kudos to you, dear friend, for your great courage and your positive attitude. Dragons begone!!!
Thanks Rosina. I know you are slaying your own dragons. So I say dragons begone to you as well!
Hey Debbie,
WOW! Thanks for opening up and sharing this with us all. A great big HUG for you my friend. I appreciate all that you share. My prayers are with you.
Make it a great day!
God Bless,
-ed
Hi Ed,
Your prayers and hugs mean a lot to me! Keep them coming!
Dear Friend,
Your courage and strength will help many people on their difficult path. Dragons begone! There is a shining light at the end of the tunnel. San Diego is calling YOU …
Darlene my friend,
Dragons begone indeed! San Diego is calling me . . .
Debbie, thank you for sharing so many emotions. There is no doubt that your bold decisions will result in peace, love, and serenity. Even while I was reading the evolution of your challenges, I could feel your positivity and enthusiasm about your life and your future… radiating from the page! The law of the universe can’t help but respond to that vibration. I feel much abundance is heading your way!
Warm wishes,
Tanya
Hi Tanya,
That sounds wonderful peace, love and serenity. I can’t wait for that day! I should add it to my dream board! Thanks for your support, it’s greatly appreciated.
Debbie,
Wow… it is so amazing what you have accomplished and the attitude you’ve chosen to have in facing your “dragons”. You are strong, and from what you’ve told us here, we are positive you’ll come out even stronger and living the life you choose! Thanks for the inspiration.
Thanks,
~ Pat and Lorna
http://TheCoolestCouple.com
Thanks Pat and Lorna for all of the great encouragement. You too really are cool!
Debbie,
How empowering to set yourself to slaying your dragons with eyes wide open and armed with information! You have shown that the best way to accomplish any task is to move into it.
Amazing how the big dragons turn into baby dragons when you face them head on. Good luck with all your tasks. I have a feeling winning is the only option you will accept! You go girl,
Val
Hi Val,
I agree with you that sometimes big dragons are only big because we allow them to grow in our minds rather than take action. I’m working on winning, it’s true. Thanks for your support.