How long will you do something if you don’t like doing it? Not for long, right? Unless you are one of those people who have to stay moving because that’s who they are. But even if you are THAT person, you may find that you start and quit a lot of things.
Why is that? Are you lazy? No, that’s not it; because you’re active. The problem is that you have mastered failure patterns in your life. Shhhh, don’t tell anyone, but I’ve mastered these as well.
Perhaps the problem is negative neuro-associations to what you need to do to reach your goal. For example, let’s say you are trying to live a healthier lifestyle of eating. But in the past you have gone on super rigid, extremely restrictive diet programs. So for you, even the thought of restricting your eating in some way sets off those negative thought patterns. Negative neuro-associations are bombs that instantly destroy a positive mind.
The cure for this is to create positive triggers and use those to push your mind in a positive direction whenever those negative thoughts take over. Let’s set up a positive trigger to offset the negative trigger for changing your eating habits. Make the trigger something physical like putting your right hand in your pocket or rubbing the back of your neck. Now practice – put your hand in your pocket and repeat after me, “ It’s easy and fun for me to take the action steps today to invest in my future self.” Practice this every time you feel the negative thoughts and soon you’ll have turned your thoughts around.
Maybe your problem is that you focus only on what is wrong, not on what is right. Let’s take our lifestyle change as an example. Your focus may be only on the foods you can’t have. The key here is to find the healthy foods you really like and plan those into your meals as often as possible. Then every time you start focusing on your deprivation, correct that thinking by reminding yourself of all the luscious things you are eating and can have on your new healthy lifestyle. Focus on other positive things, such as how great you feel, how much energy you have, how much better your clothes fit.
The final obstacle may be the thought pattern of mentally magnifying the size and/or difficulty of goal achieving tasks. That’s what procrastination does a lot of the time. The more we put off a task, the larger it grows. I know for me that if something seems too large, then my tendency is to just avoid doing anything about it at all. The best way to handle this problem is to break the task down into smaller parts. Instead of making all of your lifestyle changes at once, find 3 things that you can change this week. And then build on it from there.
And if you hate doing some of the things you need to do to reach your goals, it’s just a matter of time before you quit… and move on to the next thing, leaving behind you a wake of frustration. Isn’t that why we jump from diet to diet to diet in hopes of finding that magic one that will give us quick results so we can get back to our regular life rather than making it a lifestyle change?
When this is the case, our efforts are half-hearted at best and sometimes we give up and just quit. I would suggest writing down the needed action steps to reach your goals. Then read them out loud in order to hear how much you love taking all the goal achieving actions. Tell yourself that you are always looking for the fun in your duties and decisions, that you are great at finding what’s enjoyable or what could be enjoyable about your tasks or decisions. Tell yourself that you see your responsibilities as easy. And finally, tell yourself that you see each task you finish as bringing you closer to achieving your ultimate goal.
And when it’s your habit to see your goal achieving tasks and decisions in this light, then you will stick with them longer, you will enjoy each and every day of your life more, you will notice a dramatic drop in stress, your confidence will be higher.
You will actually look happily forward to doing whatever you have to do to succeed. Now won’t that be fun? It will be action, fun and adventure!
Deborah (Debbie) Stevens is an MBA, CPA, Money Maven who offers down to earth accounting, tax and consulting services, is a health and fitness coach, and jewelry designer and re-engineerer. With more than 10 years in public accounting and 6 years in private industry, her boundless energy and talents are now focused on making small businesses successful by analyzing the problems, discussing the issues, and crafting the appropriate solutions. Her strong, personal integrity, hard work, sheer determination coupled with a deep fun-loving view of life are what makes her tick. After having lost 116 lbs in 15 months, she has recently added weight loss and fitness coaching into the business mix. She is passionate about everything she does with a deep desire to help people. She is personable, down to earth, and ready to roll up her sleeves and get started on your business solutions. 
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Hi Debbie,
It sure makes things easier when you like it and are having fun. I have been having trouble in the exercise area. It’s hard to think of it as fun so I often neglect it.
Hi Melodie,
I have to agree with you Melodie that when we aren’t used to exercise it often is hard to make it fun. When I first started getting back in shape I had to focus more on how I felt as a result rather than the process itself. Maybe that would work for you.
“Procrastination” is the biggie for me. But I’ve been practicing it for over sixty years. And that’s my excuse and I’m stickin to it. Deb, great post that gives all of us the clear path to travel on. Thanks a bunch.
Hey Nelson,
And can you teach a dog new tricks? 
You should give it a try, you never know!!!
Practice makes perfect!
Positive triggers- What a concept. This shows that truly smart people are aware of the way they are thinking and feeling. That is so true about procrastination and magnifying the tasks or problems in our lives. That happens to me with dishes.
Ha ha Pat! I have trouble with those dishes, too! I am working on those positive triggers, they are working! Thanks.
Debbie, I may not really enjoy it at the time but I know that if I keep doing the things I need to do to get me to my goal, the satisfaction of knowing I accomplished what I said I would is so worth the effort. I also know that when I put things off as you mentioned, they get so big that I shut down…. so I am at the point I am more willing to take action even if it is uncomfortable, than to not take action and wallow in my disappointment. Thanks for Another great post!
Hey Susan,
I wonder if you could find a way to make it fun? I think that would help for the long haul. Yes, procrastination is the great magnifier, isn’t it? Thanks for stopping by.
haha, I’ll be the first to admit. My challenge is physical laziness. Note I say “physical” because I love working out my mind. Thanks for the tips, Debbie, because I have a new goal to “move around more” … I don’t like calling it a problem though. I’d rather call it a challenge. It gives me that much more motivation to conquer it. “PROBLEM” is sort of self defeating. Gotta get ready for my morning walk,
God Bless! Curt
Hi Curt,
I battle some of that myself. I’d much rather be sitting at the computer with you guys! I wish you much succes with your new goal to move around more. Keep me updated on your progress.
Great post.Goals are the gold to any business.Great tips!
Beverly
Hi Beverly,
Thanks for stopping by. The goals are the gold! I like that. Thanks for sharing.
Hey Deb,
Great post. Time for some positive action in my life to move me through the current challenges that are before me. I appreciate your insights and know that I can overcome anything that shows up in front of me as I move towards my goals and dreams.
Make it a great day!
God Bless,
-ed
Ed,
Out of everyone I know, I am the most confident that you can power through your current life challenges. I see God working in your life. I can’t wait to see you get to your goals and dreams.
Positive triggers—a catchy phrase to flip the switch when the negative is holding you hostage. It always amazes me how quickly the negative creeps in. If it is not monitored, it simply takes control. Thanks, Debbie, for reminding me that “responsibility is easy.”
Hey Darlene my good friend. I treasure your comments! The negative comes so much easier than the positive! I agree. We just have to outsmart that old negative stuff.
I found myself shaking my head in agreement as I was reading along. I could relate to a lot of this. I am every day changing my ‘have to do’s’ and my ’should do’s’ to ‘I want to’ and ‘I will!’ Those negative patterns drive deep ruts in our synapses and it is like getting a truck out of the mud. After a while you just flood the engine out and give up. When it gets to that point you just have to ask for help. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Hi Nicole,
What a great visual – the truck stuck in the mud! I will remember that one for sure. We have to stop shoulding all over ourselves!
Debbie,
Great example of using the NLP tools to recondition ourselves out of negativity and procrastination. It’s so critical to have a positive association to replace the negative one. Nice job!
Adam
Thanks, Adam. That means a lot coming from you! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.